Manmergency Rescue Reports

• Study Abroad Rescue1300 University Blvd.11:37pm
• Manmergency medics discovered a semi-coherent college student who had just returned from a study abroad in London suffering from Male Spice Loss. Concerned roommates explained that the victim had picked up a faux-British accent and was now, quote, "all Euro'ed out." Medics on the scene administered new Slim Jim DARE sticks and revived him. The victim was unable to explain why there were buckles on his shoes.
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• Something Corporate 200 Plaza Dr. NE, Suite #4004:19pm
• On a routine patrol, the Manbulance discovered a man in his early 20s experiencing a Male Spice Attack. Medics determined that the victim was too young to be using work-speak acronyms. He was given a Slim Jim Monster Stick and had his tie and lanyard cut off his body. The victim was then taken to the Center For Spice Loss where conference calls and status meetings can't hurt him anymore.
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